The end of an season

The older I get, the less I like Facebook.

Part of it is the waiver you have to accept - that they can use whatever images you upload for whatever they want.  That alone has me seriously thinking of deleting my account.

Throw in all of the nasty fighting going on in the way of sarcastic memes directed at people in different political parties, of different religions, or different value systems and Facebook has been stressing me out big time.

I am by nature a high stress individual.  I get that.  Worry comes easily to me.  Wanting people to like me is something I too often crave and chase after.  But I also know what I believe and having that attacked, even by people who don't realize they are necessarily attacking me personally - more what I stand for, is not fun.  I don't enjoy the fighting, the bickering; or the inhibitions that the web removes.  I find people are much more willing to be horrible because they aren't doing it to my face or anyone else's.  It's through the guise of being funny, most of the time.  But it is annoying.  It makes me want to delete my account even more.

Then there is what I can only describe as nesting.  As I age, the less I want to put myself out there, or put my child/ren out there.  Even though I know every "friend" on Facebook, I don't like having pictures of my kid/s available.  I don't like having my personal info out there.  I don't like being and feeling so exposed.  

And some of Facebook's recent changes have me nervous.  The apps that have been created that can be used in conjunction with Facebook are scary.  All it takes is a "friend" clicking some button giving permission to a third party to view their friends and boom, my info is out there.  Even though I've supposedly protected myself by having my security settings at the highest level possible.  Then there are hackers, advertisers, etc.  It makes me a bit worried.

I was going to delete my account after realizing that I can definitely live without it (my phone died yesterday and I had no way to power it as we were out of state and I actually realized how free I felt without feeling I needed to check in on everyone and everything on FB - it was glorious), but Hubby talked me back from that ledge.  He instead suggested I pare down my friends list and see how I feel.  It won't alleviate many of my concerns about my info being out there available to any and everyone with the right software, but maybe it will make me feel better enough to take more time to think before going off the Facebook grid.  

I decided to try out what he's saying and so far I've deleted over 100 people, and I'm not finished.  For a myriad of reasons, but mostly because they aren't people that I really follow or that I think follow me.  People that have ebbed and flowed out of my life.  I'm not doing it to be mean or make anyone upset.  I kept everyone that I knew commented on my blog (not many) and who I think reads, people who comment on my wall, etc.  If I'm wrong and you read and want to be back in my list, leave me a comment or friend me and I have no problem including you.

But to be honest, I think this is the beginning of the end for me and Facebook.  And I'm actually kind of glad for it.  It's brought closure for me in some relationships, brought about new ones, and served the purpose for me for the time I needed it.  

But I don't need it any more.  I don't need to be so involved, or know every nitty gritty detail of everyone's life.  In fact, some details I don't want to know!  

(There is a part of me that can see and end to me blogging, too.  It's on the horizon...)

So Facebook, it's been great and all, but I'm moving on.  Maybe not totally just yet, but that day is coming.  The seasons are changing, and I'm ready.