The Waiting Game
>> Thursday, January 26, 2012
Patience may be a virtue, but it's more of a pain in the neck to me. I do not possess the ability to wait gracefully past a certain point.
I think I've hit my limit waiting for the good doc on base to get the paperwork format figured out. It's been rejected twice now. Not from content, but because of lack of proper formatting.
I understand that the doctor is first a doctor and doing this on the side, but come on. We started the ball rolling in October and here it is, almost February and we're no closer to the MEB in Texas.
I am really frustrated.
And impatient.
We can't move forward with anything until we have a retirement date. Mike is stuck in a job where no one wants to give him projects and he can't take anything long term on because we could be given a retirement date in a mere matter of weeks.
We can't plan a holiday because we don't want to pay for tickets anywhere only to have to cancel and lose the money.
We can't start a home study and move forward with adoption because we may have to move in the middle of it and changing address, especially with a different state zip code is a huge deal. You have to get judge's orders and lots of court dates and the adoption could fall through if it is interrupted enough.
We don't want to try to get pregnant because the last thing I want to do switch doctors part way through. And what if I end up on bed rest? Or my new doc refuses to give me a cerclage because he doesn't think I'm a big enough risk? If I ever do get pregnant again, my stress levels are going to be astronomical just because of everything that happened with E & J & W. A move halfway across the country would NOT help.
We can't even hang pictures in this house.
Hubby can't job search, we can't find a house to move to, we can't do anything except sit here and twiddle our thumbs hoping the people we're stuck relying on have some compassion and do their jobs well in a timely fashion.
I hate it. I hate being forced to rely on other people.
And it's not that I haven't learned to wait. I've been forced to wait for practically everything in my life at some point or other. For long periods of time. I like to think I've gotten better at waiting over the years.
But right now I could explode with frustration.
I think I've hit my limit waiting for the good doc on base to get the paperwork format figured out. It's been rejected twice now. Not from content, but because of lack of proper formatting.
I understand that the doctor is first a doctor and doing this on the side, but come on. We started the ball rolling in October and here it is, almost February and we're no closer to the MEB in Texas.
I am really frustrated.
And impatient.
We can't move forward with anything until we have a retirement date. Mike is stuck in a job where no one wants to give him projects and he can't take anything long term on because we could be given a retirement date in a mere matter of weeks.
We can't plan a holiday because we don't want to pay for tickets anywhere only to have to cancel and lose the money.
We can't start a home study and move forward with adoption because we may have to move in the middle of it and changing address, especially with a different state zip code is a huge deal. You have to get judge's orders and lots of court dates and the adoption could fall through if it is interrupted enough.
We don't want to try to get pregnant because the last thing I want to do switch doctors part way through. And what if I end up on bed rest? Or my new doc refuses to give me a cerclage because he doesn't think I'm a big enough risk? If I ever do get pregnant again, my stress levels are going to be astronomical just because of everything that happened with E & J & W. A move halfway across the country would NOT help.
We can't even hang pictures in this house.
Hubby can't job search, we can't find a house to move to, we can't do anything except sit here and twiddle our thumbs hoping the people we're stuck relying on have some compassion and do their jobs well in a timely fashion.
I hate it. I hate being forced to rely on other people.
And it's not that I haven't learned to wait. I've been forced to wait for practically everything in my life at some point or other. For long periods of time. I like to think I've gotten better at waiting over the years.
But right now I could explode with frustration.
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