I made a decision

I am not going to worry until there is something to worry about.

It sounds simple enough, and it works.  But it takes effort.

But it's worth it.

I am not going to worry about complications with embryo adoption until one, I am pregnant, and two, I have complications.  I am not going to be stupid or take unnecessary and foolish risks, but I am not going to live in fear either.

I've analyzed all sides of the issue to death and still feel like the potential for a good outcome is worth the risks involved.  

I've gotten many doctors' opinions from my primary care physician to several specialists, including high risk OBs and they think I'll be fine.  I've been assured over and over that there is nothing about the loss of our triplets that should be repeatable statistically.  And there is nothing about my body that caused the loss of our babies.  I don't have an incompetent cervix or some other issue that could or would prevent me from carrying a pregnancy to term.

Of course no one can guarantee me a take home baby or an easy enjoyable pregnancy.  But all I have to do is look at my daughter to know that though the road may be scary and I may only be able to take one step at a time, she was worth every risk and every terrifying moment of the journey to her.

I trust God, I trust my doctors and I trust my instinct.  And that is really what it comes down to.    

Matthew 6:

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?
²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdomand his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.